my presentation went really well today. it was great and worth the work.
my dissertaion deadline was also moved to friday morning, which has given me more time (and more time to stress).

my feet hurt. too much standing.

So this morning, on my way out the door, the mailman gave me a package, it was a lovely baking tray. sweet :)

Today mark and I went to Stroud by train to drop off art work at the stroud house gallery where I will be showing 5 pinhole photographs in their up-coming show titled 'Stitched Two.' we then had a lovely day wandering around Stroud's award wining farmer's market, the town center, and their shopping mall. I got to try lot of free samples of meats, cheeses, beer, and other such things, and so pretty much grazed the whole day. After that we went to see Speed Racer in the local cinema, which I thought was very good and mark liked ok. It was a very fun relaxing day. Then we had a drink in the pub to pass the 20 minutes till our train back to london and made in home in time to make dinner and watch an episode of Firefly. It felt like all the good of a vacation in like one afternoon.

Now back to reality, which is high pressured, full of deadlines, and lots of stress to be had.
Monday: My first day in the bookable space this week. I need to take advantage of the opportunity to use the space and try to figure out how I'm going to be displaying the works I've been making. I fear the bulk of the day will be spent painting the structure I have been building last week. There are like 35 things that all need two coats of paint. Also on Monday there is a school meeting at some point, probably in the morning.
Tuesday: My hour long studio practice presentation to the MA department and my fellow students is to be delivered at 11am. It's the most important presentation we give all year. I have yet to start writing it yet or making the power point, so it's full of stress. The real problem is that I don't really know what I'm doing so talking for an hour about what I'm doing will be really hard. I have to get up there and say something other than 'sorry guys, I'm totally lost, have not idea what I'm doing, am just making stuff for the sake of it, and no idea if it's going any where.' Their real critizizim last time a gave a persentation was that my work was not really consepualy enough and wasn't saying a clear message of any kind. that critisizim can totally be acuretly applied to my work now, and I fear the feed back part of my presentaion will just be reinforcing how lost I am and how my work mostly regressing.
Wednesday: On Wednesday I have to turn in the lasted draft of my dissertation. I have not even started the rewrite yet really. She said there was a ton of work it needed, a lot more research (which I don't have time to do) and a lot more writing. Not really sure how I can fit in all the extra writing since I am already at my word limit. Massive editing is really needed. Oh well, have to get what I can done.
Thursday and Friday: Working in the bookable space still (I am supposed to be there all week). Trying to get some artwork planing done. Also, hassling the tech guy about my printer which he stole, getting feedback from my adviser about my draft, and general preparing for leaving school for two weeks.
Saturday: Traveling to Stroud for my private view at the gallery. Trying to be a professional, interesting, articulate, and no-shy artist, meeting people I have never met before. But I am super excited to see how the work looks on the walls and with other work. I really don't know any thing about the gallery or what the opening will be like.
Sunday: pack, hang out with Mark, and get ready.

monday:FLY HOME!! The Boogie, family, friends, cat, Mexican food and all kinds of magical wonders await me. I am really only in town for about five seconds, but I can't wait!

Ten days later, it's back to London refreshed and ready to finish my glorious dissertation, show Allison a good time in Europe, find a wonderful place to live ands move house, move studios, make worthy artworks, and finish my academic career with flying colors by receiving my Master's Degree and producing a highly acclaimed show. (or at lest that is the plan, wish me luck)

Ok, I spent many long hours, working into the night on my little website that could. It's not perfect, but I'm very proud of how far it has come. if you all get some free time and want to check it out, please get back to me with any broken links, typos, spelling errors, or general advice.
I know the front page needs some more content and images, but it's up! for right now, the email is not work :(

jessamynbailey.com

p.s. thank you mark, for keeping me from crying when i could figure it out.

been trying to rewrite my web site, wish i knew what i was doing. (don't go look)

so no one wants to claim responsibility for the blender ether? i made a milkshake with it today, yummy.

second sunday tomorrow, :) no school.

my landlady, her husband, and their friend are all in the kitchen (which is a feet, considering the size if the kitchen) trying to figure out how my washing machine works. clearly none of them are qualified to work on washing machines. they are arguing about whether there is a broken belt or what, the guy who came last week said it was the bearings. i think at this rate they will be here all day again. it would be really great if they could fix it today, we have no clean cloths in the house, but i don't hold out much hope. all my landlady says is that it must be our fault some how because the washing machine was practically new! (which is a lie).

Ahhh....

update: they have left now. there were here a few hours in order to figure out that they think it's the belt, not that they know where the belt goes. any way, they are going to order a new belt (they don't know from where) and said it will be another five to ten days.

but i think they will just put on a new belt to fine out it still doesn't work because the first man was right and there are broken bearings. i am estimating at lest another two weeks before we get a working washing machine (a total of a month with out one)

mark yelled at the landlady when she started to get unreasonable, making him my hero for the day.

so my life is developing a theme of anonymous cookware. after the frying pan incident, which no one has claimed credit for yet, this morning i got another package. it was a blender! sweet :) there was no name (was it you, sue? i think the postmark was from your part of the world).

caitlin says i should start wishing for a new washing machine (cause our's has been out for over two weeks)

any way, it was a great this morning to awake to gifts in the mail.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2008217&l=6f955&id=152300942

link to my party photos, for those of you who aren't already on facebook.

so yesturday, mark had me meet him in central london for dinner. when i got there he surprised me with gifts (this was friday, birthday not till monday). the first gift was a graphic novel i was wanting to read. the second gift was plans to see 'gone with the wind' the musical!!!!!!!! excited does not describe it. we had a lovely and efficient dinner and then heading over to the theater. mark got us wonderful seats, only a few rows from the front. the stage came way out into the audience and it very much felt like we were right in the middle of the action. the musical it's self is not one of my new favorites, there were lots of things i would have done differently, but there were also so really good parts, like hoop skirts and the burning of atlanta. they did their best to make it an epic story. mark get best boyfriend ever award for my birthday surprise. thank you mark.

the next day, yesterday, Saturday, was our house party. the house is still recovering. in fact people are cleaning around me as we type. i make carrot cake and many people came. we all drank and enjoyed ourselves. the freshly mowed lawn was used by people till late in the night. there was singing, dancing, a few good costumes, India food, and so much more.

many people spent the night. this morning we had a great breakfast and then a small wonder, other people cleaned the house! now most people have headed home and we are about to start our post party traditional game of settlers.

no one coming forth to tell me who sent me the frying pan?
still have no idea!

up coming events,
going to el's house tomorrow.
friday mark is taking me out for my birthday :)
saturday morning, man coming to look at broken washer
saturday night, party at my house.
sunday, breakfast at my house? mostly cleaning up.
monday, my birthday :)

things that need to get done:
baking of a cake
cleaning for the party
costume

today, i finally bought a lawn mower. it is the cheapest lawn mower on earth and is mostly made of plastic, but it did sort of cut the grass. poor little plastic lawn mower had to try to tackle my wild lawn with grasses over a foot tall. me and mark took turns mowing and then i raked up the clipping and bagged them. the lawn looks really bad because with out the really long grass there, you can see how patchy the lawn is and the yellow grass underneath. I'm sure it will balance out and get use to being shorter. well, it was the first lawn i have ever mowed. it was a pain, but there is totally pride in the little things.

also, my grandmother called tonight. it was great to hear from her and i told her i was doing well. it was nice to say and nice to mean.

ok. so today in the mail, out of no where, i received the world's cheapest frying pan. it's a 25cm non stick frying pan that came in the mail... with my name on it. i have NO IDEA why. am very confused.

no return address, printed label on brown paper packaging. The only clue was a little piece of paper which said:

Visit my Ebay Shop
womblegod store
http://stores.ebay.co.uk/womblegod-stores

how weird is that? so i visited their ebay store and learned that my new frying pan costs all of 2 pounds ($4) but no other information. I know i did't order it, i don't even have any ebay account.

i asked fred (cause he owns me a frying pan) but he said it wasn't him. mark had no thought ether. got any idea why someone would be sending me very poorly made miniature cookware anonymously?

20 minute to 4am.
9,571 words.
37 pages long.
bibliography done.
still giant holes in the paper.
still no images.
it's bed time.

Allison is my hero of the hour, reading through my horrible draft and editing it for a some hours of her precious time. mark is a close second for his encouragement and the shoulder rubbing.

any one who knows me could look at this situation and know what's going on: I up, several hours after my bed time, on a sunday night, typing away, surrounded by books and notes which cover the couch, coffee table, and floor, stressing and wishing for death. that's right kids, it's the night before something is due.

a full draft of my dissertation is due at 1pm tomorrow. the thing is still in pieces (though nicely spell check by allison) and largely makes no since. I'm still about 1,000 words short of the word count, having inserted none of the images, still missing most of the citations, research, and all of the bibliography. and it's rounding 3am. can she do it folks? I'm not as young as i once was. it's not looking like i can pull an all nighter on this one just yet. my heart is just not in it. besides, i get to say to myself, it's only a draft. not like i'm getting a grade on it yet. i still have a two months till the final draft is due. but of course, it's thinking like that that gets a level headed girl like myself into these last minute endurance test/self-inflicted torcher sessions.

wish me luck.

i firmly dislike my landlords. they are just utterly useless. they came over at 12:30 to replace the door nob to the bathroom. it's 5pm now. they are not finished.

ps. I hate my dissertation too.

today i am mostlywasting time.

the tech guy has hidden my printer, gurrr. it was unloved, unused and covered in an inch of dust. I got it working and suddenly it's needed somewhere? no idea where it went and said tec guy wont be in till next tuesday, so that's a pain.

any way, the big event of today is a meeting with tony carter over the walk out in the humanities department. as a student rep i have been involved in the student out cry over their leaving. i don't know if the meeting today is going to be productive or not, but we will see. i have a feeling that the principle is just going to say 'on going legal matters, i can't comment' over and over. the student reps are meeting in a few minutes to get our game plan worked out for the meeting.

there is totally no sun today, just clouds. i need to make more caynotype paper any way, and find my printer....

worked a bit on my dissertation last night (thank you mark for making me). need to keep it up. 10,000 word draft due on monday. we will see how it goes. there is still a lot od documentaion and reaseach that is not represented in the paper and i want the paper to truely reflect the amount of research i have done this year.

i made a successful cyanotype done from a digitally produced negative today. i was super excited i was running around the school showing my friends. it was rewarding because i have been working on this for about a week now, and school days are starting to get really valuable and hard to come by, so there was some nerves about this being one more unfinished project going no where. but today there was a little sun between rain falls and it work! i got an image and it's beautiful..well, it's a start at lest. i was getting a second one ready to expose when the rain started up again but there is always tomorrow.

IT's SNOWING! i woke up this morning and it was snowing. it's is in fact still snowing. the houses are white, the trees are white, the cars are white and parts of the yard are white. the street is holding out with it's black color but there is always hope while it's still snowing.

SNOW! it's so awesome.

every one kind of woke up at the same time and we crowed around mark's window looking at the snow. matt, jeremy, caitlin, fred, and me, in aw of snow.

there are other in the house. it's a bit of a full house with a mini party last night. i most went to bed and did not play along.

SNOW!

it's easter break at school. i have totally not be getting any work done. it's almost over and i am of course filled with guilt. also not feeling great in general. haven't been sleeping well because i don't do any thing all day. oh well. blah.

the weekend was nice. we went to jace's party, there are of course a million photos on facebook. if you are not on facebook, here is a link to my photos: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2007951&l=18f49&id=152300942

got social plans for the rest of the week. then back to school next week having no idea what i'm doing. i'm really feeling stuck with my art at the moment.

it's all a bit overwhelming life stuff but every one else is managing to deal and not cry over dinner.

so I was looking online for sheets. cheep sheets, cause I'm poor, see? so i was looking on argos. one sheet set option (a couple colors, but all the same really)

argos: double bed sheet set
50% cotton, 50% polyester
14.99 pounds (which is about $29.98 in the U.S.)

was annoyed with this option, so just to give myself a head ache I looked at the walmart website to see what I could get in America for the same money. I of course found many options.

walmart:
250 thread count %100 cotton
$24.88

300 thread count %100 egyptian cotton twill
with pleated hem detailing on pillowcases and flat sheet
$26.89

400 thread count %100 pima cotton (don't even know what that is)
$30.00 ....which is equal to the cost of the substandard, no thread count, only half cotton british sheets that I still wont buy cause I really don't have the money.

I could totally live like a king on the little money I have in greensboro, instead I live here. why was that again?

on a more serous note, what should I do? it's a real pain to ship ever thing. I'll just live with the one set of sheets I have and go with out sheet when I have to wash them and wait for them to dry cause we don't have a drier. and that is just the sheets problem. there are a million little luxury things I miss about home that I can't afford here. the real problem is that you can't live in two places. if I'm going to live here, I have to have british money, if I'm going to have shitty American money, I need to at lest live in America. I am such a drain on my family and I feel so constantly guilty but I want two sets of sheets, and a blender, and a frying pan (cause fred killed mine and it was the only one), and face wash (instead if just soap), and snack food, and a hair cut i didn't do myself in the shower (even if i do an ok job), and spices, and take away food every once in a while with out mark having to pay, and clothes I didn't have to wait to go to america to buy, and silly over the counter medicines, and impulse shopping instead of walking in the a store to stare at the shelves, compare all the prices, just to ultimately decide that I wont buy any thing cause food next week would be better.

really it is totally a life of my own making. I should get a job, be an adult, earn anything, and then I would have things which I earned instead of my own life being the total indulgences that my family gives me.

WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, WHINE.........

it's totally my mood right now. sorry. I totally just started this post to talk about how products in england are over priced and poorly made... don't know where that came from... sorry.

easter weekend. yah! mark is out of work Friday and Monday. so it's a long weekend of hanging about the house for us. people came over Friday. it was great fun and a bit like a mini party. spent a good bit of time watching people play sonic the hedgehog. Saturday was a bit more quite. lu and dim came over for a board game and to use our shower. it was nice seeing them. fred hid in his room till leaving the house but lu and jo did meet (jo being fred's new girlfriend). today is Sunday. the house is really quite. mark went to the shop this morning to get us food and came back with Cadbury mini eggs for easter :) i heart mini eggs.

I had wanted to go to miranda's birthday today to see people and being social but i'm not feeling up to it really. also, can't really afford the travel cost.

tomorrow is still weekend time. yah :) though mark does keep trying to get me to paint or something. we will see.

there was snow yesterday, for less than five minutes, but i was right by a window when it happened. it was very cool looking.

I have totally gotten out of the habit of doing my lj and so there has only been about an entry every week and a half or so. that's lame of me.

tomorrow is monday but i don't have to go to school cause it's easter break! WOOT! i'm not setting an alarm tonight. i might or might not do school work tomorrow. might just spend the day washing my cloths. we will see.

"la la, la la, but not as popular as me"... downloaded some random musicals and have been listening to wicked. "la la, la la, you be popular..."

ARTZ! still on the up swing. feeling better and stronger. but not really getting a lot done. i really need to step up the pace because i'm be missing a lot of days. well, there is a three week break here, plus two for the boogie, plus allison is coming for like two weeks, and i'm sure i can come up with a few other trips between now and september. but in september i have to do an MA show regardless of if i have good work or not, so i better get to making.

there was some social stuff this weekend, but largely we backing out of/got canceled on for most of our plans so it was pretty quite. i really enjoyed pub time on saturday. card s a beer.

la la, la la....

so i guess that it's for me right now. how are you guys doing?